827
by astraplain
Summary: Sequel to 999,999. In which the team discovers the unexpected side effects of cleaning supplies


"You've got chocolate sauce in your hair again." Tosh gave Ianto a wide smile as she reached up and lightly tugged the chocolate-covered wisp of hair. It had been two days since a bit of alien tech had created thousands of half-sized copies of Ianto. The solution had been to cover Ianto completely to block his exposure to fluorescent light and Jack had chosen chocolate sauce to accomplish the task. Ianto had been smiling distractedly and smelling faintly of chocolate for two days.

"Oi!" Owen's outraged shout interrupted them. The man stomped towards them, empty coffee mug in hand. "Where's the coffee?"

"In the coffee pot," Ianto replied, too blissed out to be bothered by Owen's attitude.

"It's empty. And all the biscuits are gone." Owen's eyes narrowed. "Just what did you and him get up to last night anyway? My autopsy table is suspiciously clean."

"Compared to your desk everything is suspiciously clean," Ianto retorted, taking Owen's cup and heading towards the kitchenette. He was so shocked to find the coffee gone he checked three times before believing it.

"Jack!" he muttered to himself before marching upstairs to Jack's office to confront him. Really, drinking the entire pot was too much even for the captain. He stopped just inside the door, staring at the half-sized version of himself that was adding another cup of coffee to the line-up already on Jack's desk.

"Eight twenty-seven!" Ianto moved forward, half glad and half annoyed to see this smaller version of himself. "I thought you disappeared."

"Good morning, Largest," Mini-Ianto replied. "There's twenty of us remaining. We've finished cleaning the ceilings on levels six through eight. Would you like us to proceed to levels nine through fourteen? If so, we'll need more cleaning supplies."

"You're sure there are no other groups left?" Jack demanded.

"Quite sure, sir. We've searched every level to verify that we're the only ones left." He looked at Ianto, body still held straight, but his look turning hopeful, "We're rather hungry."

"Of course you are. Eight twenty-seven, if you would gather your group and bring them up to the main level, we'll order plenty of food for everyone."

With a nod, mini-Ianto left, leaving the original rather bemused.

"Breakfast for twenty-five it is then? I'd better take the SUV."

"Call in the order and I'll have Owen and Gwen pick it up. I want you and Tosh to find out why these copies didn't disappear with the rest. After they eat, Owen can examine them." Ianto nodded and hurried down the stairs, already working out the quantities of food he'd need to order. He'd have to include coffee in the lot they didn't have enough mugs. They'd need changes of clothes as well, but he wasn't about to trust that to Gwen and Owen.

He wrote down the breakfast order as well as the additional order he'd placed and handed the information off to Gwen, who'd arrived while he was in Jack's office with his mini-self.

"Must not have used enough chocolate," she told him, grinning.

"Jack might argue that one," Ianto countered, thinking of the man's late night run to the all night market for another bottle of the stuff along with several pints of ice cream. The caramel sauce had proven popular too, but not as much as the whipped creme. Ianto didn't think he'd ever be able to eat a sundae in public again, at least not without grinning like a fool.

Gwen and Owen had just left when an orderly line of mini-Iantos arrived. They were looking a bit worse for wear, with dirt and cleaning fluids spotting their version of the cute suit.

"Right then," Ianto directed. "Off to the showers first there's towels in the cabinet. We've got new clothes on the way and I'll see about getting your suits cleaned. I'll bring the clothes to you and then we'll have breakfast."

"Thank you, Largest," the minis chorused before the line did a neat turn and proceeded towards the showers. Jack moved to stand beside Ianto, watching the smaller versions walk away.

An hour later, the minis were clean, dried and clothed in a colorful array of sweats, thick socks and flexible, rubber soled shoes. They had finished their meal and efficiently cleaned up after themselves and the team before lining up for their medical exams.

As each one finished, he returned to the main area and told to think of a name it wouldn't do to call them by number for the rest of their lives. When they were all together again, Ianto had led them down to the old barracks for a rest, pairing up two to a bed so they'd all fit.

Feeling somewhat out of sorts, Ianto proceeded to the conference room where Tosh and the others were waiting.

"It was the cleaning supplies," Tosh informed them. "They were cleaning ceilings weren't they?"

"Yes," Ianto confirmed. "But I use those same cleaning supplies every day they're perfectly safe."

"To you, yes. Apparently, the combination of inhaling the cleaning agents and having some if it drip onto their skin was enough to preserve them. As far as I can tell, they're stable copies of Ianto, and should live a normal lifespan." She turned and smiled at Jack and Ianto with a glint of devilment in her eyes. "It's even likely that they will get larger until they are close to the size of the original Ianto."

"Guess they won't be calling you 'Largest' anymore," Owen snarked.

"I wouldn't bet on that," Jack replied mildly, giving Ianto a look that made Owen groan.

"You should know better than to encourage him," Tosh said without a bit of sympathy while Gwen laughed.

"Right," Ianto said, standing up before the conversation turned to chocolate and other unsafe topics. "We'll need to decide what to do with them. Housing. Clothing. Payroll, I suppose. They can't stay in the Hub forever."

"They're not going anywhere for a while," Owen said firmly. "I'll want run more tests confirm that they really are permanent and growing as the scans indicate." He smirked. "You could take them out by twos tell people you're babysitting your twin nephews."

Ianto rolled his eyes at the suggestion, but Jack gave out a delighted laugh and decided to act on that suggestion as soon as possible, if only to watch 'Largest' deal with his copies in public.

"Jack, did you activate any of the vaults?" Tosh looked up, worried, as Jack strode across the room to lean over her shoulder. They studied the readings for a moment, confirming that it wasn't a computer malfunction or an erroneous reading.

"Gwen, Ianto, with me. Owen, check on the minis. Tosh, keep monitoring and let me know if anything changes." Jack withdrew his weapon and started downstairs, knowing the others would be responding as ordered. He had a good team.

"Nine chambers activated, Jack." Tosh reported over an open channel so everyone could hear her.

"The minis are gone, Jack. But they made their beds before they left." Owen stated. "On my way to join you."

"No need," Jack replied. "They're here, two of them anyway. The others have already gone into the vaults to be frozen. Conference room in ten." Jack cut the connection and turned to Ianto and the minis. The copies were standing straight-backed and resolute in front of the chambers. The one they knew as Eight twenty-seven presented them with a handwritten note complete with eighteen signatures at the bottom.

"We all agreed," he said, speaking for himself and the other remaining mini-Ianto. "There's no need for twenty-one Iantos - not all at the same time. We drew lots and Eight forty-two and I were selected to remain. We can assist you here in the Hub - cleaning, taking care of the coffee and even assisting in the archives while Largest concentrates on field work and cataloging artifacts."

There was more to this decision and Jack knew it as well as Ianto. He had a strong suspicion what one of those unspoken reasons was, but he wouldn't discuss that in front of Gwen and the others. Instead, he took the letter and scanned it. It confirmed not only Ianto's depth of feelings for him, but also that those feelings had been transferred to the minis. They'd done this for him - Ianto's grasp at immortality - buying himself more time to spend at Jack's side, even if it wouldn't actually be him, but a copy.

Jack handed the letter to Ianto and rested a hand on a shoulder of each mini. "Let's go upstairs and discuss your new job descriptions."

"I'll start the paperwork for housing and payroll this afternoon," Ianto assured them

They settled into seats at the conference table with coffee that Eight twenty-seven had insisted on making. Before the meeting started, Gwen leaned forward and addressed the two newest members of the team.

"Have you chosen names?" she asked, giving them a friendly smile. The two mini-Iantos exchanged looks, then nodded to each other and returned her smile, even though their eyes were on 'Largest'.

"Aston," replied Eight twenty-seven.

"Martin," was Eight forty-two's response.

Ianto leaned back and sighed while Jack's laughter filled the room.

::end::


End file.
